In the past two years
I've learned
that just because you're
loyal, honest and devoted
doesn't mean
it will be reciprocated.
that sometimes,
sadly no good deed
goes unpunished
and most movies do not
resemble real life
especially the ones
with big budgets

In the past two years
I found that being a lucky lady
doesn't blend in at some homey parties and
that even your inner clown makes
the not so lucky angry
and with all the luck in the world it's
hard to win for losing against Venus envy
where you hide and keep a guard
around your trusting inner child
and,
"True friends stab you in the front" -Oscar Wilde

what my Grandmothers
told me about men is true
I've also learned
that no matter how much
you know and love somebody
they can still have secrets
that could break your heart
and possibly kill you

I've learned that every crossroad
in life offers 3 choices
left, right, straight ahead
and going back is where
you go when you don't have a choice
but
it isn't a failure - it's home -
which defines you and reminds you
that everything beyond the crossroads
could break your heart
and possibly kill you

don't rely on fortune cookies
but never let a good wishbone go to waste
and that nothing is personal and everything is personal
no one is perfect especially me
and the more mistakes I make
the more human and nice I am towards you
and the more powerful I think I am
the more danger I am in

I learned that paranoia is just guilt from
knowing your brilliance which is measured
by mediocrity
and envy is powered by love and hate
and the more I try to love myself
the more I get guilty
because the more powerful
you think I am,
the more danger I am in

sax solo (Stanley Turrentine)

I've learned that everyone dies
some quickly some slowly
so it's best to
live the life you really want
it's taken me forever to realize that
I still haven't grown-up
and that somehow
I still have the fantasy that
as long as I am a good person
life will get better

I've learned that it's true,
we create our own realities and that
thoughts manifest words that manifest real events
and now, every time I think about the rent I immediately
say out loud, "PAID IN FULL" just to be sure
those were the words that the thoughts manifested

but what I've really learned is that
the clock is tic tic ticking
and maybe I should do my best
to leave this place with a smile on my face
and love in my heart for you and for me
and maybe that's as good as it gets

what I've really learned is that
the clock is toc toc talking
and maybe you should do
your best to leave this place
with a smile on your face
and love in your heart
for me and for you too
and maybe that's
as good as it gets

and if that's the case
I will consider
myself

lucky
and you too
lucky...